Simple Cell: An Exhibition of Imaginary Science, Opening Reception November 11, 2006

The Office presents Simple Cell, a window into a black hole where a driven scientist conducts research in semi-obscurity…to a heavy metal soundtrack.

LIVE portal to black hole activated during the reception on 11/11.

Simple Cell is an exhibition of creative scientific research, featuring a unique view into a black hole. Leading imaginary scientists have pooled their resources to open a brief portal to the super-massive black hole, Q0906+6930, commonly known as Blazar. In a research experiment gone Blazar, as the scientific community refers to it, Dr. Stephan Schleiden & his laboratory were transported into Q0906+6930 on 11/11 of last year. Drs. L. Hernandez Gomez, J. Johansen & William T. Madmann have uncovered a porthole into Blazar that will open up 11/11/2006. They have arranged to exhibit the porthole in order for the stranded scientist to share his recent research on rematerializing the dematerialized.

Overall, Simple Cell suggests the enormity of that which does not contain matter.

The band Black Hole generously recorded the soundtrack for Blazar, with their timeless song, Black Hole, proving that sound can exist in a vacuum. sound sample at: http://www.imaginaryscience.org/listen.html

The League of Imaginary Science is a nonexclusive society for self-proclaimed quacks. http://www.imaginaryscience.org

Contributing imaginary scientists...
Dr. L. Hernandez Gomez specializes in inverse biology – specifically, the external state of the internal organs. Hernandez Gomez’ inside-out & outside-in technique has brought mass appeal to the previously ill-considered innards. Connecting the Dots is the scientist’s recently published manual to the human body. Leading specialist Stephan Schleidan admitted in passing, “Connecting the Dots reduces all of biology to simple, interconnected lines – now a child of six could be a brain surgeon.” Dr. L. Hernandez Gomez received several advanced degrees from the University of Fernando Póo on the Island of Bioko.

Professor J. Johansen is an expert in bagology, a scientific field fraught with academic infighting & corporate speculation. The inventor of the non-wrinkling sandwich baggie, he has gone on to create a prototype of the bottomless paper bag. As published in Science Biweekly, his is “an advanced form of scientific origami.” In recognition of his early achievements, Harvard University predated his degree, granting him a PhD in 1973, the year he was born. In his spare time Professor Johansen contributes to the field of plastomology: his is the largest collection of plastics excreted by insects know to exist.

Professor William T. Madmann has spent his career battling teams of medical ethicists, & he’s come out ahead. A world-class evil genius second only to Dr. Mabuse of French cinema, Professor Madmann asserts that the foremost thinking in science is incompatible with notions of “the greater good.” His seminal research on kitten asphyxiation won him the Josef Mengele award in 1973 & made him the most popular scientist among a small percent of twelve-year-old boys, who, incidentally, strangled their cats. Professor Madmann conducts his research in a secret laboratory in or around the Bermuda Triangle with his cat, Muffin.

The illustrious Dr. Stephan Schleidan, founder of tunnel theory, is very possibly a distant relative of Matthias Schleiden, founder of cell theory. The only scientist known to conduct his research from within a black hole – labeled a “black hole vigilante” by Science Tuesday – Dr. Schleidan leads government research on the exportation or “trash channeling” of green house gases. He is the author of Dirty Worm Holes, the definitive textbook on spelunking black holes. The force behind W.H. “Boss” Hoover’s decision to merge his appliance company with NASA, Dr. Schleidan specializes in reconstructing dematerialized matter inside a vacuum.

Official Website: http://www.imaginaryscience.org